UNIX Beer


Here's what would happen if, in an alternate dimension, UNIX was formed not as an operating system, but beer.



Unix Beer: Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz.
to 64 oz.  Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even
though they claim that all the different brands taste almost identical.
Sometimes the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have
to have your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you
either need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been
drinking Unix Beer for several years.

        BSD stout: Deep, hearty, and an acquired taste.  The official
            brewer has released the recipe, and a lot of home-brewers
	    now use it.

        Hurd beer: Long advertised by the popular and politically 
	    active GNU brewery, so far it has more head than body.  
	    The GNU brewery is mostly known for printing complete 
	    brewing instructions on every can, which contains hops, 
	    malt, barley, and yeast ... not yet fermented.

        Linux brand: A recipe originally created by a drunken Finn in 
	    his basement, it has since become the home-brew of choice 
	    for impecunious brewers and Unix beer-lovers worldwide, 
 	    many of whom change the recipe.

        POSIX ales: Sweeter than lager, with the kick of a stout; the
            newer batches of a lot of beers seem to blend ale and 
	    stout of lager.

        Solaris brand: A lager, intended to replace Sun brand stout.  
            Unlike most lagers, this one has to be drunk more slowly 
	    than stout.

        Sun brand: Long the most popular stout on the Unix market, 
	    it was discontinued in favor of a lager.

        SysV lager: Clear and thirst-quenching, but lacking the body
	    of stout or the sweetness of ale.